The Truth About Emotional Intelligence

There is so much emphasis on emotional intelligence these days that it appears that people are suppressing their emotions and problems in an effort to "fit in," to keep their jobs, and using "positive self-talk" to muscle through the rough spots in their lives.

Recently, I had a friend over who has suffered enormous job stress during a time when his wife's father was dying of cancer. Of course, quitting his job didn't seem like an option during this difficult period, particularly since his wife returned to her parental home for many months to say good-bye to her dying father. That left him at home to take care of their children, pay the bills, and so on. Who can forge positively into a new job-search with all that going on?

After his father-in-law passed away his wife returned home and he lost his job - as did many of his colleagues - and his wife decided she no longer wanted to remain married. What else could go wrong? OH! Of course! His father could be diagnosed with cancer: He was.

Now he is living a complete hell, with all of this turmoil, and two sweet children looking to him for stability. Is it any wonder that people are cracking under the strain?

He is all alone and he tries to be "emotionally together" but that only causes more harm than good. We (society), in our need for order and stability, don't want people with all these problems in our lives. We don't want them working in our office. They're broken!

Well, the truth is, our (society) expectations around emotional intelligence, and together, full-functioning adults, is what is breaking them.

I spent three hours with him the other night, acknowledging his horrific circumstances, his emotional turmoil, and gave him permission to embrace it all. He's not broken, he's experiencing emotional pain and it needs to be expressed, embraced, and worked through (processed.) It's not enough that he embrace it either. Community is required to surround, love, heal, and regenerate.

So, when we see hurting people, don't look at them as broken people who haven't got their act together. Look at them as someone who needs a bit of kindness, generosity, and loving support. Watch the power those simple things can have in their life.

Caveat: This does not condone people remaining disempowered victims for the rest of their lives. Our role is to embrace and still to empower, leaving the "wounded one" to take responsibility for their recovery. Embrace, love, and challenge.


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Bereavement Poetry: Meaningful Words for Memorial Services

The loss of a loved one is the hardest thing that you will ever have to go through in your life, and you might find that at many times you feel hopeless. There are lights at the end of every darkness in life and the death of a loved one is no exception. There are many ways to deal with the death of a loved one, and there are many things that you can do to help yourself or to help someone else who is dealing with death. The use of bereavement poems can greatly help someone, or yourself, cope with the loss that is facing them.

A bereavement poem is a poem that you can use in a eulogy, a remembrance service or on a memorial site as a way to deal with the death of a loved one through imagery and words. When you are having a service, when you need something to get you through it, or when you are looking at words to have posted somewhere in memory of your loved one, a funeral or memorial poem is something that you might want to think about.

There have been many in memory of poems that have been written in the past for many situations. There are funeral poems for the loss of parents and grandparents, or children, or friends or other family members. Each memory poem has the potential to speak to your heart and to the hearts of the people who have lost loved ones. A memorial poem is designed to help with the coping process.

When you are thinking about poems for funerals, there are a couple things that you want to remember. Poems for memorial services should somehow have reference to the person that you have lost – their life, their loves, their faith or something that they loved. You want to be sure that the poem you have chosen is one that is going to speak to you and speak to the other grieving family members.

A well-chosen funeral poem can be something that you hang on to for a long time. You may want to consider printing copies of the memorial service poem to keep and to give to others who want to keep it. By having this poem with you and keeping it along with photos of your loved one either in a scrap book or on an online memorial website, you have words that you can always go back to for a memory. Writing down feelings either in prose or in poetry is highly recommended as a way to deal with severe grief.

All of the memories that you have wrapped up in a certain person can be easily expressed with a well chosen funeral poem and you will be able to keep these words as a memorial for a long time to come. Share a poem with others in hopes of helping them deal with their grief over losing a loved one. It is only by dealing with the grief that comes with losing a loved one that you can truly come out on the other side and learn to live your life again.


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A Simple Formula For Overcoming Fear and Worry

If you ask most people why they have not achieved their goals or the level of success they desire, they will usually respond with some built-in excuse (negative belief) that is holding them back.  Underlying this excuse or negative belief is usually a fear or worry.  How many times have you attempted something new, only to stop before you ever got started because you were afraid of what others may think?  Or you don't think you have the time or money or both?  Or because you believe are inexperienced or lack the knowledge to succeed?

Someone once defined F.E.A.R. as False Evidence Appearing Real, which means we have chosen to believe in something that is not really true.  But because it is our belief, it is our reality.  Worry is nothing more than a sustained fear caused by indecision. Sometimes we need to ask some tough questions to determine the cause of these worries or fears. Once the fear is identified, a simple formula can be used to overcome that fear.

The first step is to clearly define what you are afraid of or worried about.  Write in down.  Put in on paper.  Half of your worries and fears will be solved the instant you can define them clearly by putting them on paper.  What once seemed big in your mind will look small and insignificant on paper.

For the other half, you need to move on to step two.  Ask yourself, what is the worst possible thing that can happen if this fear or worry becomes true?  Make a list, yes, write it down on paper underneath your clearly defined worry.  Keep writing down everything that comes to mind until you have identified the worst possible outcome.  Do you realize that 90% of what we worry about never happens?  Think about how much time you spend on worrying about stuff that never will happen.  This list will help you see that.

Once you have completed your list, resolve in your mind that you will accept the worst possible thing that can happen.  Since 90% of those things will never occur and generally the other 10% will not kill you, realize you will survive.  Accept the worst possible thing by telling yourself, I can handle it, over and over again.  This will start to turn things around.

Finally, begin now to make sure the worst never happens.  Put together an action plan of exactly what you need to do to turn things around.  By focusing on positive changes and implementing your action plan, your focus will shift to the positive outcomes and away from your fears. You will begin to feel better because now you can DO SOMETHING!  Positive action is the only cure for fear and worry.  Try this formula today and see if it will work for you.  It has worked for me.

To Your Success!



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COOL PHOTOS BANK
WORLD'S BEST DREAMY PHOTOS
NATURE OF GOD
WORLD'S BEST WILDLIFE PHOTOS
Amazing Filter
VINTAGE DESI
MYSTERY OF LIFE
FOR UR COMPUTER
VIRGINE DESI
ART OF LIFE
FASHION OF LIFE
DREAMY HEALTH
FEATURE TECHNOLOGY
PHOTOS WAR
SECRET OF EARN MONEY ONLINE

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